Yesterday, I had a moment where I wanted my daughter out of my house. She is only 4, so technically she cannot leave, but I wanted her to. I literally had to inform her that “I am not one of your little friends”. I essentially wanted her to get her life.
Parent or not, you can only take so much. It is exhausting to feel like you are putting out fires all day long. It is exhausting to feel like you have spent a whole day getting after a kid for one thing or another.
There comes a point where you begin to question your parenting. I wonder if I am doing it all wrong. I seriously ask myself, “am I ruining my child?”. Real talk.
Thankfully, the other moms in my village are always there to encourage me and remind me that kids are naturally unpredictable and sometimes ridiculously wild. So, like the wise meme suggests, I don’t need to question my parenting, I blame it all on my childs’ childing haha.
I joke with my mom all the time that I am ready for God to just take all these hard-parenting moments away from me. Why can’t my children have angelic-like behavior so I can stop being stressed out from their shenanigans.
Every time, she reminds me that if I don’t go through these tough moments, then I wouldn’t have anything to share. Even though it sucks to feel like I want my child to leave the house, I always learn something from that moment, once all the dust, attitudes, and emotions settle.
So here are the 6 ways I have discovered to help me not to lose my cool when my kids are taking me through the wire.
1. Pray. Out loud. In front of your kids. Yes, right in the middle of their mess, start praying out loud asking God to help you not to lose it on these kids. Seriously, if you are praying you will be much less likely to go off. It also makes your kids give you the side eye and magically turn off their antics. They start to think you are the crazy one. (insert shoulder shrug).
2. Find something to laugh about. Focus on something else. Think back to a funny moment that happened earlier. Take your mind off wanting to scream at your kids and just laugh.
3. Hug your kid. Hugging releases oxytocin which lowers our stress levels. I can attribute hugging to saving my kids from many mommy-wraths. Even if you aren’t really feeling in a “huggy” mood, it helps to shift your mood 100%.
4. Phone a friend. No lie, my mom actually called me in the middle of a kid-storm one day. She didn’t know it, but I needed help. She basically gave me a “super nanny” session over the phone and once again, saved my kids from mommy-wrath! Talking to someone on the phone about your situation, especially if you are home alone with your kids. It is one sure way to make sure you act rationally.
5. Say less. I am the speech queen and I get it from my Mom. I recently realized that, in the heat of their drama, my kids are barely listening to a word I say. The more I go on, the more irritated I get with their lack of listening. So, I am now going to practice keeping my teachable moments short and sweet.
6. Silently walk away. Remove yourself from the situation so you can gather yourself, check your attitude and prevent yourself from overreacting in the moment.
Once you have done one or more of these tactics (and obviously made sure your kids are safe), then you go back deal with your kids and dish out consequences, if necessary. Trust me when I say, you will model much more appropriate behavior after you have tried these tactics. It is amazing how simply taking a pause can save you from doing or saying something you might later regret.
Afterall, if we want our kids to have a certain type of behavior, we are ones that have to model this for them. I admit, I have showed my kids some absolutely unacceptable behavior. I am surely a work in progress and just trying to push through like most of you. Pray my strength!
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